"You are the dream that saved my life..."

I looked up the song "Never Thought" on the internet and it's not as good as I remember it to be, but the one line remains consatantly in my mind, teasing me. Yeah, I talk like I'm still one of the "dateless losers" that Reel Big Fish so accurately described in their hit album, "Cheer Up!" The irony is that I'm not dateless, though it feels like it. I haven't seen my man since we so strangely decided to hook up. Yeah, you know the one, Chris. It's as I told Court, I always date the weird ones. But the guy has some profound thoughts, believe it or not. But who knows what the future will bring for us. Besides, my French friend whom I've never met, but have chatted with for some 7 years online... He says that at least in France, it's perfectly ok to date someone you've met only once or twice-- a whole three times in Chris & I's case. Understand, Aurelien is wise, being older than me, French, and having smoked many more joints.Seriously, though, I am going to adamantly join in on March 5, Books not bombs day, because I think France has a point, America is blind, and war is hell. But that's conservative Missy transforming into liberal.I'm excited about spring break, but is it realistic. My mom says she would feel bad for me not having had any responses from potential employers, only if I had applied to 25 to 50 places by now. 25-50. I guess she set my goal. 25-50. Whoa.And what of me $10,000 in debt, working, and this loan being my own? She decided she would decide what grades I would get in school, how many credit hours I would take, even as I work a job, and then if she was not satisfied, she would not co-sign. All I need her co-sign for is my lack of credit history. And news flash to mom: many people want me to go to college. I could find a co-sign. Because apparently she would first have me drop out of school, then not be straight Dean's List. True, I owe it to myself, and am perfectly capable of doing that well, with some effort. It bothers me that she still sets my curfews when I'm at home too. For any of you who feel old.. I will be 20 this year!! True, it's not until December, but that is two decades! And Mother still runs my life.But it's ok, and I will respect her wishes, because I love her, and she's really the best Mom anyone could ever have. I came to a startling realization after a frappochino and work tonight that I missed pages of LJ by not checking over the weekend. And still, I'm having trouble adding Antoine to my Friend's List! Anyway, I guess I'm just trying to catch up. My roomies probably loathe me because I'm still awake. The light is dim and only in my corner, but neither of them are sleeping very still-- and Steph just murmured something in her sleep. This may be an old school laptop by the way, but thank God it's keys are so relatively quiet!So back to the subject, I guess I am an idealist. I want a dream to save my life right now. Spring break will be a blast, though too short, and I could constantly type my mood as LISTLESS, just because I feel like something is definitely missing in my life.